My apologies for skipping the mid-week edition of COVID NOTES. I was caught between an onslaught of patients and the urge to combat an onslaught of covid conspiracy videos, trying to inject a few grains of science and a dash of common sense. I was a bit cross-eyed by the time Wednesday hit.
Increasingly though, I’ve been seeing posts and questions on social media about the best apps to use to meditate with or good meditation music to listen to. It’s not a bad idea. From the looks of things, people are getting stir-crazy. A little meditation might help.
I’ve been meditating, on and off, since my early 20s. I’m trained in zen meditation, taoist meditation, ki meditation as taught in some Japanese martial arts, Western esoteric meditation, and plain-old secular mindfulness meditation. For the past couple of years, I’ve been teaching meditation to many of my chronic pain patients, with good results. All of these methods are good, and they all have their own special techniques, but they all begin with one simple thing: The breath.
Meditation is easy to explain, and hard to do until it gets easier to do. A lot of people never get through the “hard to do” section.
The results, though, if you stick with your training, are worth it. But let me clear up a few things. The point of meditation is not to attain some mystical state of bliss, though it can at times, help you feel blissful. The point of meditation is not to reveal to you the hidden secrets of the universe (unless that’s specifically your goal). The point of meditation, at its most basic and common level, is to teach you how to control your awareness. To be able to consciously control the focus of your attention, so you can pay attention to what is important in the moment and ignore what is not.
That may not sound like much, but it is your mind’s most useful tool. Your mind becomes like a variable camera lens, allowing you to catch the overall picture or the details as you choose. Without obstruction from the constant (and mostly useless) chatter of your mind, you can direct your thoughts on what you choose.
So how do you do it? Simple. Sit upright in a chair or cross-legged on a pillow on the floor, facing a plain wall. Your vision should be free of distraction. Having done that, start following your inhalations and exhalations with your mind.
A word about breathing, here: Abdominal breathing is best. You can tell you’re abdominal breathing because your stomach expands with each breath and your shoulders don’t rise. That draws your breath down into your physical center, allowing you to fill and empty your lungs completely with each breath.
Take a deep breath, filling your lungs, and then exhale completely, and think to yourself, “1.” Do it again, and think “2.” Continue the count until you reach 10, then start again at 1.
But I can guarantee you won’t reach 10 the first time without other thoughts intruding and you losing count. You’ll begin to wonder about what to cook for dinner. Or that argument you had with your spouse. Or worries about money or health will intrude. That’s ok. That’s more than ok, that’s what’s supposed to happen.
And when it does, return your mind to your breath, begin with the last number you remember, and go from there.
Intrusive thoughts will happen again and again and again and that is just fine. You’re succeeding. And over time, you will notice they become less noisy, less strong. You’ll never get rid of them entirely, though. You can no more stop your mind from thinking than you can keep your heart from beating. Thinking thoughts is what your mind is supposed to do. What you’re learning is how to not pay attention to all of those random thoughts.
You see, meditating is like weight training. You’re building your mind muscle. Nobody picks up a dumbell, does one curl, and puts it back down thinking they’ve built up any muscle. They do it 10 times, 20 times, and maybe 3 or 4 sets. Every time your mind drifts and you bring it back to your count, that’s a rep. Every time you’ve completed a count to 10, that’s a set. And your ability to focus your mind grows each time.
How long? Start with 5 minutes, but do it every day. Then go to 10 minutes. Then 15 or 20 minutes. Do it for as long as you feel you can and want to, but do it every day – that’s the secret.
As for the apps, the guided meditations, the mood music: Put that all away for now. That’s just another way to distract your mind from focusing while pretending that you’re actually doing something. Just set the timer on your phone instead. Once you have mastered the basics, which can take a few months, then you can start adding overlays to the basic pattern of mindfulness to achieve specific goals.
You will begin to see benefits after only a week or two though. I can’t tell you what those benefits will be, because they are unique to the individual. But you will notice them. Because now you’re learning how to pay attention to things. And how not to. You’ll be surprised what a difference that makes in your life.
If you need some help, I’ll be glad to give you additional tips. Just send me an email at avery@averyjenkins.com or text me on Telegram, @avery_jenkins, or call my office. I’ll be glad to help.
In the meantime, just breathe. This is all going to work out, one way or another. And as much as you may feel like it right now, you aren’t alone. We’re all right here, breathing alongside you.